nothing clever on this title

It's been a while..

isabellacantinos@hotmail.com — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 09:10:47 GMT

Wow, it's pretty amazing to look back at my previous entries. There's a mix of horror and pride to see how much a a dumb teenager I was but I have to hand it to myself, I was pretty damn funny! Is it sad to look upon this journal with fond memories? To think, instead of going out, screwing guys, drinking, doing drugs and partying my ass off I was passionately writing humourous mini fan-fictions but yet I still turned out pretty much the same as everyone else!

Well...at least I still have my integrity, and I won't lose that drive, that need, to be someone worth something. I think for a little while I started believing that I had to be one of them to get by. Nothing seemed to earn me any credit, no one laughed at my jokes, told me I was talented, or even said I was a good person. At some point between the age of 16 and 18 something brought me down. It's frightening to know now that I almost lost who I was, I almost lost what made me me.

I was almost broken.

You ever meet someone before and after they became addicted to heroin? afterwards, its like something broke them, replacing their hopes for a future is a hope for a normal life. Their standards are lowered, and looking into their eyes, its like seeing a shell of a person. I feel like everyone goes through a transformation like that, its just with a drug addict, its more drastic, more obvious.

If you lost touch of something you value greatly, its really hard to get back. My boyfriend and I were talking today about how we felt so much more talented as teenagers; "I don't know if it's that I was better then or if was just that thought I was " Kris told me. I think its both. We all get brought down by someone, some people have enough support and confidence to get through it, and some just keep getting hurt over and over again.

I think after so many people or things just wittling away your self confidence you lose a lot of your drive, but theres a danger zone where you just start stooping long after something has held you down.

But times are changing for me, I have a boyfriend who will hold me up when I let myself stoop, and a job that forces me to use my creativity. I have classes that are forcing me out of my insecurities and friends that won't judge me. I may never have a mother who will make me feel like I can do it or a father I can cry to, but I am grown up now, so I won't need to hear her discouraging words every time I come home!

Life is really good, and at this rate it will only get better. I'm glad to have survived the Test of Hormones; not only did I come out alive, but I still value the same things, I didn't lose touch with the part of my youth that was smart!

When I remembered my days at livejournal all I could see were people flaming me, telling me how much of an asshole I was. I remember one person anonymously hate commented every entry! But you know, thats the kind of shit you should expect to get when you have the balls to say what you're going to say.

I need those balls back, and godammit, I'll fucking get them back, but this time, they're here for good!

And thank you so much everyone who appreciated my stuff, you may have been just as immature as I was when I wrote it, but its good to know that some people in the world understood my humor. You make me believe in myself

isabellacantinos@hotmail.com — Sun, 25 Sep 2005 20:51:20 GMT

I wrote short story, a play on little red riding hood(kinda grim but little red riding hood is grim is you think about)

Little Red Hoodie

Today’s the day Mama let me show off my new red hoodie. It’s so pretty. It looks perfect against my skin.
Gramma’s sick, she’s really sick, Mama says. And Mama has to work overtime tonight so I get to do a special job for her. I get to bring Gramma her special cookies. Mama says don’t eat the cookies ‘cause they’re special for Gramma ‘cause she’s so sick.
Mama looked real sad about it. Gramma must be in a lot of pain. Mama said these cookies will help a lot.
Mama says this neighborhood is a bad place for little girls so I better be extra careful now. I saw the bad people outside. They scare me but I keep strong and they leave me alone. Anyways it’s just three floors down. Apartment 127.
We haven’t seen Gramma in a while now. Mama says she was at the hospital. Now she’s gonna get all better!
I was just walking when a white guy opened his door. He was balding and he looked at me funny. I could tell right away he was a bad man. He said my sweater looked pretty on me.
Right before I got into Gramma’s house, something cold and metal was pushed on my neck. The bad man. I turned around slowly. He smiled. He had big yellow teeth.
Gramma called me in. Poor Gramma. The bad man walked me into her room. Gramma looked so tired and pale!
Gramma got up and yelled at him. He pointed his gun at her and yelled back.
We were both tied up with tape over our mouths and the bad man he even ate all of Gramma’s cookies!
I looked at Gramma. She didn’t look back. She was thinking real hard on something. The bad man was talking for a little while, about me mostly. I was so scared.
Somehow Gramma got herself free! She stood up and was about to grab a knife but he shot her. He killed Gramma. Gramma’s dead. I was so scared
He started to talk to me. Got closer. Closer! He turned around real fast. He seemed all confused like he heard something, then he ran to the phone! I think he was trying to call the police but he was shaking so much and then he barfed all over the place!
I had get outta here! Gramma could do it…I just had to untie myself. But I couldn’t see the knots or nothin! He fell asleep, then he woke up. He’s all shaky and sweaty.
I could move my legs. But he was coming after me! He was goin pretty slow. A bang on the door. Police.They got the door open and then the bad man tried to shoot them, but he was shot. He was just about to get me. I’m safe now
~~~~~~~~~
Five years out of jail and I see her while getting the newspaper. So small and pure, with that perfect skin, soft brown skin and large black eyes. Those eyes. And that adorable red sweater that looks so beautiful on her.
I want to reach out and touch that soft skin along her perfect cheekbones. I promised never again but she’s so perfect and I’m getting old.
Following her was easy. So was getting into the apartment. It’s her Granny that was difficult. She was complainin’ and yelling and that perfect little girl just stared wide-eyed at me.
I tied them up and sat down telling the girl of when I saw her and how perfect and beautiful she is.
Then that old coot had to untie herself and reach for a pathetic butter knife. I shot her anyways. I was feeling jazzed.
Now it was just me and her, or maybe she and me…. that red reminds me of roses…concentrate! Just us. What’s that?! That’s not right! A buzzing noise real loud. She didn’t hear it. Granny didn’t – oh yeah.
What’s wrong with me? It’s like I – the cookies! The phone! Dial 9-1-1! Concentrate on the numbers! 9. - - What am I dialing? Whose number starts with a 9? Police! Cookies! Concentrate!
B-r-r-ring, bring, the rings make me twitch Oh God, getting nauseous…back to the phone. Oh they talk so fast! Help me! They can’t hear me! I’m talking to a phone! Just try maybe they can…I don’t know what you’re saying lady, you’re talking so fast! I don’t know where I – the girl!
Where am I? Vomit, phone, blood, granny, girl, each recollection causes a spasm. The girl! Oh and she had a red sweater, and it reminded me of roses, and – where is she? There she is, get her! And I called the cops – Oh God! I called the cops! I have to stop them, call them back, say don’t come over. Maybe I didn’t. Concentrate! Get the girl! Get the girl!
Loud noise. Voices. Cops! You can’t get me alive!
~~~~~~~~~
“Cease fire! Cease fire!” He could’ve sworn he saw a girl or something red and wrapped in ropes or something, standing next to the man. But his men fired so quickly.
There she was; a red hood and a bundle of ropes, cowering on the floor, unharmed. The little girl’s name was Lena, and she had a chilling story to tell.
“Oh, my baby! My baby! My baby!” Lena’s frantic mother ran to suffocate the girl in protective love. Lena stood there, dry-eyed, as her mother hysterically cried and smothered her daughter with kisses.
Investigator Norman turned the pages in the file as he replayed the girl’s story in his head. Everyone including him pretended to forget about charging the family for the cookies. Those cookies saved that girl’s life.
~~~~~~~~~
Lena took off her sweater on the way home. Her mom noticed.
“Honey, the heat’s broken in this car, you know that.”
Lena’s face didn’t change. “I don’t like that sweater no more, Mama,” she said, simply trying not to remember how he smiled at her in it with those big yellow teeth. Though Lena could see it in the corner of her eye she remained motionless when her mother wept silent tears.

isabellacantinos@hotmail.com — Sun, 04 Sep 2005 17:35:02 GMT

Lets start at the beginning: we got my dog shadow for some family friends when I was 5, 11 years ago. so Shadow's been the only dog I've had for 11 years. We moved recently though to a very large open property and my parents promised my stepbrother christopher and I that we could get a new dog each once we settled down. the promise was slowly forgotten by everyone but the prospective arrival of jack, my stepsisters alaskan malamute in california happened. and though we had to refuse that dog Christopher remembered the promise of adopting a dog for himself.

I would have gladly joined the bandwagon and abandoned Shadow for a much younger funner dog, but Shadow had personally adopted me as her favorite family member: choosing my room to sleep and stay in even when I wasnt there. I just couldnt put Shadow through that, I love her

while these plans were happening. a large, black cat arrived at our door. It was an unneutered male and very neurotic but still very charismatic and nice. though our dog Shadow had always been a cat chaser, the game of keeping her locked up while the cat could wander and vice versa was getting a little annoying and we tried them together. Shadow just didnt know what to do at 1st, and the cat didnt seem to care. sometimes shadow would try to chase the cat other times try to make friends. it was all very entertaining!

finally we went to adopt a dog for Christopher! the adoption center was AMAZING, if I were a dog I'd like to live there! we ended up choosing a dog named Sundance. Shes a german shepard mix, so she looks like a german shepard but alot shorter and shorter hair. Shes a major lapdog,and she really looks up Shadow, though Shadow just wants her to go away. I was really hoping we'd get a dog that was good with cats but this one we were told was not

So we took her home. and the most entertaining test was when the cat ran into the house, and amazingly enough, Sundance did nothing. mostly because she was so busy chewing on a bone because shadow likes to chew on bones. but when they finished they both kinda just gawked at him like he was...well a cat! but the best part was that he taunted them and would rub up against Sundance especially!

I'm gonna take photos of these ex cat-chasers because this stuff is priceless!

isabellacantinos@hotmail.com — Sun, 14 Aug 2005 17:27:28 GMT

hey anyone who still checks this thing: I was moving for a few weeks and THEN I went to california for a month so I havent had time to update, but anyways, I think I'm growing out of this LJ thing too so I may not respond too much

isabellacantinos@hotmail.com — Thu, 16 Jun 2005 06:59:37 GMT

my stepdad has a roll of toilet paper w/ Bush's face on every roll: I dont care WHOSE face is on it, I just dont feel comfortable wiping my ass on someone else face!

isabellacantinos@hotmail.com — Wed, 25 May 2005 22:27:44 GMT

OMG! this random guy from NOWHERE just started talking to me from AOL and declaring his "love" for me and it was soooo weird! I just have to share this!

ps: I switch "modes" alot from playing along to just calling him crazy to pretending I like him back to calling him crazy again, this was at about midnight so what can I say?

prettyboy067@mac.com: can i share my thoughts with you
IsabellaCantinos: sure
prettyboy067@mac.com: have a man ever loved your spirit
IsabellaCantinos: I dont know, alot of guys like me right now *This is true cause I dont know
prettyboy067@mac.com: when a man like what he sees, it becomes hard for him to love it
prettyboy067@mac.com: what do they like about you
IsabellaCantinos: my personality, my looks
IsabellaCantinos: yeah both
prettyboy067@mac.com: while we share words with one another it gives me the power to see your heart through you words
IsabellaCantinos: really
prettyboy067@mac.com: i can see your heart
IsabellaCantinos: whats inside my heart?
prettyboy067@mac.com: the spiritual content of a great woman
prettyboy067@mac.com: that is why you have the power to share your time with a great man
IsabellaCantinos: and youre that great man.... *sarcasm
prettyboy067@mac.com: yes
IsabellaCantinos: so are you....god?? *sarcasm
prettyboy067@mac.com: no! never that, just a great man who loves GOD more than I love my self.
prettyboy067@mac.com: i love you and don't know you
IsabellaCantinos: you do?
prettyboy067@mac.com: you are apart of GOD and I love GOD
IsabellaCantinos: how exactly am I a part of god?
prettyboy067@mac.com: check my site out www.prettyboyworld.com
prettyboy067@mac.com: he made you
prettyboy067@mac.com: and i love that
IsabellaCantinos: so this is all an ad?
prettyboy067@mac.com: i only extend my wisdom to you for the cause to bond with you spiritually
IsabellaCantinos: and none of the links work
prettyboy067@mac.com: stop playing
IsabellaCantinos: playing what?
prettyboy067@mac.com: It came up on my computer
IsabellaCantinos: ummm...now I'm just utterly confused
prettyboy067@mac.com: it is not finished
IsabellaCantinos: 1st you act all poetic, then you declare you're "love" to me, then you advertize you website, then you just babble!
prettyboy067@mac.com: no! never that
prettyboy067@mac.com: i am opening up to you
IsabellaCantinos: about your glorious website?
prettyboy067@mac.com: I am letting you know me and the things i do
prettyboy067@mac.com: please do not be so emotional
IsabellaCantinos: I'm not really being too emotional, youre the one declaring love
prettyboy067@mac.com: love from a spiritual perspective is when one impose kindness and respect on others.
prettyboy067@mac.com: ok baby
prettyboy067@mac.com: don't fight me baby
IsabellaCantinos: so...are you admitting youre crazy or do you think your normal?
prettyboy067@mac.com: you are treating me so bad
prettyboy067@mac.com: i am normal
IsabellaCantinos: well youre just kinda freakin me out
prettyboy067@mac.com: how can you find crazy within my wisdom
prettyboy067@mac.com: explain
IsabellaCantinos: cause youre just advertising the "wisdom" of your broken website, and the way youre advertising is by declaring love
prettyboy067@mac.com: As i give you my inspiration you neglect to find your self improvement within its contents.
prettyboy067@mac.com: i will stay on just one thing than
prettyboy067@mac.com: ok baby
prettyboy067@mac.com: i need to touch your heart
prettyboy067@mac.com: my only blessing is to extend and receive self improvement in our ability to share words.
prettyboy067@mac.com: ok baby
IsabellaCantinos: baby??
prettyboy067@mac.com: can i ask you a question
prettyboy067@mac.com: i can find inspiration in you intensity
IsabellaCantinos wants to directly connect.
prettyboy067@mac.com is now directly connected.
prettyboy067@mac.com: think baby
IsabellaCantinos: about what exatly?
prettyboy067@mac.com: about us
IsabellaCantinos: what is there between us?
prettyboy067@mac.com: words, we just need to understand them
prettyboy067@mac.com: i like your feed back
prettyboy067@mac.com: talk to me
IsabellaCantinos: huh? you LIKE it? you mean you like how I think youre crazy? this is entertaining!
prettyboy067@mac.com: your words let me see myself in you
IsabellaCantinos: how??
prettyboy067@mac.com: you will have to understand me in order to find peace within my heart
prettyboy067@mac.com: your defense with intent to conquer
prettyboy067@mac.com: apart of my is in that but my blessing is not to be that way with you
IsabellaCantinos: I have peace within my heart thinking youre crazy
IsabellaCantinos: so lemme get this straight, you still love me?
prettyboy067@mac.com: yes
prettyboy067@mac.com: to love justifies my greatness
prettyboy067@mac.com: and i am willing to share that with you in any situation
IsabellaCantinos: youre making me laugh
prettyboy067@mac.com: because I love you
IsabellaCantinos: but...WHY
prettyboy067@mac.com: because you are a part of GOD
IsabellaCantinos: yeah so is everyone else *I'm not erally a religious person but IF I was then that probly would be true for me
prettyboy067@mac.com: i am holding you in my thoughts right now
prettyboy067@mac.com: i understand that
IsabellaCantinos: so what exactly is supposed to make me special??
prettyboy067@mac.com: what makes you special is your ability to receive wisdom from a pure man, who found a way to love you through his words.
IsabellaCantinos: wha???you from LJ?
prettyboy067@mac.com: no
IsabellaCantinos: where you find me?
prettyboy067@mac.com: in my heart
prettyboy067@mac.com: this is about me and you know
IsabellaCantinos: ok so uhhhh.....where you from
prettyboy067@mac.com: i am already apart of you, I established that
prettyboy067@mac.com: Washington DC
IsabellaCantinos: youre a part of me, the crazy part?
prettyboy067@mac.com: when a man is apart of a woman, that means he can see himself in her. I see myself in your words (the good ones)
IsabellaCantinos: ahh I see....so when are we gonna meet then
prettyboy067@mac.com: as we bond we become one,
IsabellaCantinos: so never?
prettyboy067@mac.com: no
prettyboy067@mac.com: we will meet, when you want to meet
IsabellaCantinos: well I want to meet you now *decide I want to get to the bottom of this thru a little manipulation
prettyboy067@mac.com: where r u from
IsabellaCantinos: who are you
prettyboy067@mac.com: you want my whole name
prettyboy067@mac.com: Chamarkco
IsabellaCantinos: I want to know where you found me, youre name etc
prettyboy067@mac.com: I found you in my heart, name Chamarkco Amin Young President of The Pretty Boy Association
prettyboy067@mac.com: you have a great man now
IsabellaCantinos: ok, so once you tell me the truth or what that really means I'll meet you
prettyboy067@mac.com: i'm claiming you as my friend
prettyboy067@mac.com: truth about what
IsabellaCantinos: k well not enough
IsabellaCantinos: do you know what I look like?
prettyboy067@mac.com: go to my site and dial the     no. and hear my name
prettyboy067@mac.com: like like what
prettyboy067@mac.com:                       *some numbers, probly shouldnt display them out here
prettyboy067@mac.com: hit my ext. Chamarkco
IsabellaCantinos: so you gonna ever tell me how exactly you found me
prettyboy067@mac.com: in my heart
IsabellaCantinos: what the hell's that supposed to mean
prettyboy067@mac.com: i am not playing with you
IsabellaCantinos: so one day you just thought "heym I'm gonna see if theres an isabellacantinos online on aol tonight"
IsabellaCantinos: "because my heart said so "
prettyboy067@mac.com: that is why i love you
IsabellaCantinos: didnt give me an answer
IsabellaCantinos: youre full of shit
prettyboy067@mac.com: you can be so funny at such a time
IsabellaCantinos: and bitchy
prettyboy067@mac.com: I will answer all of you questions
*some stuff cut out here, not much though
prettyboy067@mac.com: love you
IsabellaCantinos: what the hell, how many chicks you do this to?
prettyboy067@mac.com: i doing it to you
prettyboy067@mac.com: this is about you and I
IsabellaCantinos: how many other chicks do you do this to?
IsabellaCantinos: prettyboy067@mac.com: I will answer all of you questions
prettyboy067@mac.com: do what
IsabellaCantinos: this "I love you" thing
prettyboy067@mac.com: just with you
IsabellaCantinos: yeah ok
prettyboy067@mac.com: don't fight me
IsabellaCantinos: why, youll just force me?
IsabellaCantinos: youll find me?
IsabellaCantinos: youll track me down?
IsabellaCantinos: eventually?
prettyboy067@mac.com: can i love you and understand you for the purpose to be your friend
prettyboy067@mac.com: i have you now
IsabellaCantinos: no you dont, this is "Having" someone, to be online
prettyboy067@mac.com: we just built a relationship
IsabellaCantinos: not really
prettyboy067@mac.com: i can deal with that
IsabellaCantinos: I think youre crazy and you love me, please tell me this is a huge joke for laughs!
prettyboy067@mac.com: i pray for smiles, i pray for happiness just for you so we can share this reality right now
prettyboy067@mac.com: this is not a joke
prettyboy067@mac.com: baby
IsabellaCantinos: lol
prettyboy067@mac.com: can i see your heart
prettyboy067@mac.com: can i be your friend
IsabellaCantinos: can you please tell me what my heart is?
prettyboy067@mac.com: the heart connects us spiritually and it forces me to respect and honor you for the cause of love
IsabellaCantinos: and you just want to be friends....nothing more
prettyboy067@mac.com: what do i deserve other than friendship
IsabellaCantinos: so are you...asexual? gay? eunuc?
prettyboy067@mac.com: what is the greatest thing you can offer a man from a spiritual perspective
prettyboy067@mac.com: i am a great man
IsabellaCantinos: really
prettyboy067@mac.com: how can you insult my greatness
prettyboy067@mac.com: i love you any way
IsabellaCantinos: so how "great" are you
prettyboy067@mac.com: do you want me to be your friend
prettyboy067@mac.com: i am so great that i will kill my greatest enemy, and bury him like a king.
IsabellaCantinos: I want you to cut out this joke cause its frankly freakin the shit outta me
prettyboy067@mac.com: what joke
IsabellaCantinos: this joke
prettyboy067@mac.com: i am forreal
IsabellaCantinos: thats what scares me
prettyboy067@mac.com: i gave you my name, website with number. i am giving you me
prettyboy067@mac.com: no joke
IsabellaCantinos: your webstie doesnt work
prettyboy067@mac.com: the links do not work
IsabellaCantinos: they dont
prettyboy067@mac.com: the number is at the bottom of the screen
prettyboy067@mac.com: for more info call:

IsabellaCantinos: listen, I would love to chat in crazytown but my reality world is getting slighty skewed and I also am frankly just getting tired *truthfully, I was just really tired

so yeah...definetly strange huh?

isabellacantinos@hotmail.com — Tue, 17 May 2005 23:39:27 GMT

A poem to "sara"

I've been there for you
And what do you?
How can you think this is right?
I'd been there for you
Though you never came through
Is this a good reason to fight?
Never knew this friendship we made
Was so 7th grade
Didn't know it was still wrong to trust
But you know wha they say of lemons and lemonade
So I'll do what I can if I must
So what should I do?
Should I trust you?
Or should I say you're no friend at all
What should I do
And why should I trust you?
Soon you could be my fall
I need someone
Who's not undone
Who knows how to keep my trust
I need someone
Who when they get hurt they dont run
So I'll what I can if I must

isabellacantinos@hotmail.com — Mon, 16 May 2005 21:54:47 GMT

ok now I'm just confused AND pissed, this issue is SOOO 7th grade:
so my friend "Sara" totally is being a freak and I'm confused heres the story:
A long time ago me and her and this other girl were walking thru the hall(nothing weird about that) and this guy I've known comes up to me. Hes all talking to me and shit and later I tell "Sara" that he has a thing for me but it would never GO anywhere. So nothing to it right? So THEN today that guy comes up to me and says this chick thats my friend "or something, I dont know her at all" came up to him and asked if he had a thing for me! Of course I play innocent/shocked and await the Confrontation to "sara". So I come up to her and am all like "so I hear you asked "John" if he liked me, what the hell?" now shes all like "well, I was CURIOUS" and well, thats just not cool in my opinion cause now I've got weird shit goin on between me and him and before it was fine. She even told him she was asking because I think he does! now thats just bitchy. But wait, theres more: so another girl named "Lola" was all like " yeah well you kinda have no right to be pissed at "sara" cause its not like you dont gossip either" I was really not happy w/ that, cause IF I ever "gossiped" it would NEVER interfere w/ other ppls shit cause the fact I know about their issues doesnt give me any right to fuck w/ them. so I was like "yeah, ok, well now he's all acting weird around me cause of it so..." and shes like "are you sure?" as if I wouldnt know or am lying.
not cool, this whole situation is just not cool. there are so many things wrong w/ it:
1. Its my issue, so you cant go up to ppl and screw w/ my shit cause it has NOTHING to do w/ you
2. I'm your FRIEND and youre supposed to NOT BACKSTAB ME
3. I've kept your shit and helped you w/ your problems and this is how you repay me
4. the fact you get mad at me for what you did to me and me being pissed about it is just wrong
5. DONT FUCK WITH OTHER PEOPLE'S SHIT
6. when you know youre wrong, dont try to turn it on me and say soemthing like "well maybe you souldnt tell me things anymore" cause thats just cruel: I mean, FRIENDS tell eachother things, so do you mean what I think?
7. You say I've been pissy lately when you havent even talked to me the whole weekend

ok so a friend of hers and mine-ish defended me cause she personally thinks its wrong and I was like FINALLY GOD! so I'm glad she agreed w/ me completely and fully, she was just as appalled but can someone tell me why "sara" seems to think what she did was ok?

oh and "sara" if youre reading this please tell me why you think its right to do this to me because I've been trying to see youre veiw of things and there's no way I can see someone successfully backing you up as doing something that wasnt wrong

isabellacantinos@hotmail.com — Fri, 13 May 2005 13:58:47 GMT

Pissed: these guys gave me shit cause I called Joel Shumacher an Indian woman, they think I was being racist or homophobic or both, I of course WAS not
I'm definetly so not both of those that I accidently make comment that seem bitchy or weird but they're just jokes cause I thought he looked like an indian woman in one pic

isabellacantinos@hotmail.com — Fri, 06 May 2005 22:07:52 GMT

hey I haven updated in a while but thats cause I've been goin thru TOO MUCH drama! now I need to vent:
1st: the New Guy Simon is becoming an asshole and leading on every girl that likes him on. I am really pissed and want to kill him because hes being a dick and he denies it
2nd: EVERYONE is unloading all their drama sadness bullshit on me and I am really hearing about some fucked up shit, like a bulemic chick and another chick who almost got RAPED
3rd: whenever I complain about all this to my friends they think I'm talkinga bout them so I cant really talk to them about it and I just need to let out all these problems
4rth: This simon guy is driving me CRAZY cause he doesnt make any sense and he says one thing but does another...he takes me aside and tells me all this shit and seems to have a thing for me but says he likes this other chick...I'm not even flirting w/ him and hes trying to lead me on! I mean, thats WRONG! I dont really even LIKE him and hes trying to get me to be part of his little despaerate girl fanclub! Im glad I just have the common sense not to be all over his ass like those poor decived and deluded girls are. He needs to figure himself out, and keep up w/ it. Hes a nice guy when you get him alone but thats not an excuse for fuckin up some poor innocent girls! this may all just be fun and games but its really hurting ppl

isabellacantinos@hotmail.com — Sun, 01 May 2005 06:42:57 GMT

I just realized high school is the MOST ANNOYING PLACE IN THE WORLD! if you have any friends you cant flirt with guys w/o getting a barrage of immature questions and sound effects. And I just wish my generation woud GROW up already so I would be able to act my age not THEIRS! jesus! I used to wish I was in high school when I was in elementary school cause I thought then guys were smart enough to act right around girls not ridiculous! and I wanted to be able to talk about shit without getting "OOOOHHH!!!! Isabella! you weirdo!" so I finally get to fuckin high school and nothing really changes except ppl dont say "OOOOOHHH!" they just give you dumb looks or make childish comments. now my dream is to be in my late 20's where I can meet ANYONE but I have a horrible feeling even then ppl will be too stupid to have any fun w/ me! I'm a fun-loving person, I love risks and action...but my friends are just at the "holding hands" stage it seems. Will I ever find someone who wants to have as much fun as I do? Will I ever get to an age where I can fuckin flirt with a guy and not get all these looks and comments and stupid high school gossip bullshit?! does anyone out there sympathize?! I dont want to have friends if they're gonna nose into all my shit like that! I wanna just have some fuckin FUN!

Another rant:
My friend ashley is TOTALLY hitting on me. I'm TOTALLY STRAIGHT. I do not like to have her tits rubbing up against me or have her slap my ass or give me thos kissy faces that are really, threateningly close. I dont want my nipples pinched I dont want my ass touched, tickled, petted, etc. I want to be friends without the whole lesbian thing. I just dont feel it with her! I'm not attracted to her! I'm the most pro-gay person I know but I am pretty straight! I have never felt sexually attracted towards a girl and have found myself attracted to guys only. Ashley seems to think she can change that, but I dont feel anything towards her, I am a very open person when it comes to sexuality but there is no sexual attraction - and shes making quite a show for the guys with the things she doing to me. I try to play it as a joke cause shes playing it as a joke(she has a boyfriend and she never admitted shes bi) but its rally starting to freak me out cause I know shes for real. no one believes me cause she does shit ike that alot but I can feel it,through her body language, that shes serious. like you can tell through a guys hug if hes attracted to you or not. I am an expert at body language too and I always catch bullshit so I know this is real. I also tend to stumble in weird and unusual situations such as these so it makes sense.

isabellacantinos@hotmail.com — Sun, 01 May 2005 06:14:50 GMT

So this past week like 10 guys hit on me so I feel happy and hot...YAY!

lets see...1st 'hit': like 3 mexicans while I was throwing out ice cream(because I liked the outer part only) and I ended up getting a sandwich out of it too!
2nd:now I have a feeling there was another one in between this but whatever. This guy sent me a note saying :
"You are a pretty girl isabella
ITS TRUE"
I wrote back "What are you aiming for?"
he wrote "nothing, just stating the truth"
2 days before he was talking about how he loves his ex still and all that horrible sad shit so ummmm....
3rd hit: ok so theres this NEW GUY, and EVERYONES ALL OVER him cause hes the "new guy" and hes "hot" (I dont really think hes all that great) well there was this party involving all this dancing and well I talked about it earlier right? I really dont wanna touch that territory(of him) though cause everyone else wants him and hes a sophmore and I dont mess w/ sophmores cause they're childish, hes also "getting over his ex-girlfriend" but I think he got over her pretty well last night.... If I DID even TRY to mess w/ him like 5 girls would be asking me questons and on my ass about it and jealuos and shit too so NO WAY AM I GONNA MESS WITH THAT SHIT.
I'll find a better guy on the way also, I mean really, HOW many guys are after my ass again?do I HAVE to remind myself that? I can pretty much choose any guy I want so if theres this one slight problem then I'll just go for a better choice...a hotter...non-sophmore choice! yay!
4rth hit: I think it may have been 2 ppl but I could have mistaken some body language but this one guy I long ago dubbed ladies man(long story not involving me) was definetly flirting but he looks like an elf and remember how elves are perfect and flawless and HOT? well I dont really go for his look but hes undeniably hot. He is enemies w/ my ex but because my ex idolizes him to the point of imitating his every move...so I could see the reason for the anger there.
5th hit: I just remembered the one from the party where that birthday girl's boyfriend hit on me too
6th hit: My friend, a girl from the party really got all over me, shes been doing that lately.....

so thats like uhhh....9 ppl hitting on me last week! WHAT HAPPENED!

isabellacantinos@hotmail.com — Sat, 30 Apr 2005 08:19:27 GMT

grrrrr...I just went to the CRAZIEST party - and there was no drinking OR drugs!

omg, I 1st get in there and the birthday girl's BOYFRIEND hit on me! he puts his hand on my back and he like "nice, you look good, nice....makeup, good lipstick" I went on saying I wasn't wearing any lipstick or lipgloss but yeah, that was the start of a VERY scandalous party.....
So there's this new guy named simon and everyone thinks hes hot and wants to do him and such but I actually like the fact hes cool w/ my idioticness, but I dont do sophmores(I'm a sophmore, but sophmore guys are immature - oh and I dont mean 'do', like 'DO', I'm just being weird) So theres this other girl named Katie that everyone thinks will hook up w/ him but she always hooks up w/ assholes and hes not an asshole so...
so I'm just trying to shake things up cause I get bored VERY easily and of course messing w/ Simon(psychologically) would be the best way to shake things up! So Me, Simon, another guy, and 2 other girls, are all talking and I realize I DONT CARE what they're talking about so I just sorta walk away, but walk away alone so Simon'll follow me(hehe, these games are fun) so we walk off and he starts talking about his old school and how his ex had broken up w/ him, blah blah blah. so I'm being miss therapist as always(cause I'm going to be a therapist) and meanwhile everyone back at the party thinks we're screwing or something(stupid fuckin gossips, why cant you all try to just NOT think about it for once?)
Oh and another friend of mine: ashley, is ALL over my ass...sorry girl but I like guys, youre a great friend and all but thats as far as it gets. She comin up to me and pressin her tits against me while "jokingly" smiling seductively at me, and she grabbed and slapped my ass COUNTLESS times! she even pinched my nipple once! shes a great friend but she can really be a little too much all over my ass and since I dont think of her like that it kinda reaches beyond my little comfort zone(oh and simon is definetly lovin the little shows shes makin w/ me too)
so we're all dancin but Simon is really reluctant to dance. He's used to having a ...partner to dance w/ so he felt like an idiot. He was forced into slow dancin w/ Katie and FINALLY started getting a thing for her(he hadnt had one before but then he sorta got one - as in CRUSH pervs) He was having fun and I was really getting into my dance(I think I may dance really sexy cause last dance the DJ's were staring at me and Simon was tonight too, I just sorta shake my ass so I could see how they'd like it :) ) and I cant remember...I think we may just have started dancing. Well my leg was in between his legs and I definetly felt a little ummmm..... lets just say I had an extreme urge to say to him "Is that a butterfinger down there or are you just happy to see me?" but he may get pissed so I held back my humourous urges.
Later Katie grouped me, him, ashley and another girl together and said she wanted to sneak over to her house(she lived nearby) so she told her parents she was going to the tennis court to "cool off" cause the dancing room was hot. We walked for a while, and right before we got there Katie got a call, she didnt know the number so she didnt answer. we all knew it was her mom. we got to the house, right when the phone rang....IN the house! no way we were stickin around, we'd just go back. I told Katie that her mom - being the PSYCHO BITCH she was would probably drive over to the house to check on her. we were on the side of the road when we heard a car. we all frantically ran into te bushes, I felt like a fugitive! I geuss it was fun though. so we found a way to walk to the backyard of the party and looked all innocent...to our friends....
Katie had like 3 ppl bitch at her about how much deep shit she was in so she went upstairs to get some peace, she started crying in anxiety of meeting her mom. Then this random weirdo gay asian(ps, nothing against gays or asians, he was just gay and asian and that all I knew about him) came up to her to bitch at her MORE and se was already crying! Then her mom came stampeding up to katie "YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO...." and so on and so on....I was scared. and I'd had experience w/ this before. then she bitched at US for "influencing" her and other random shit and said we had to leave immediatly. all she cared about was that she was embarrassed that when the presents were to be opened katie wasnt there to open them. "I PAYED $400 FOR THIS PARTY, SO YOU BETTER HAVE FUN!!" she rambled...every sentence I had a great comeback like for that one I said "how can she have fun when you're sitting there yelling at her?" there were so many things I was absolutely burning to say, but Simon was kicking me not to fuck this up even more.
so katie was banished to party again even though she was crying her eyes out, and me simon and ashley were kicked out of the party but we were alerady too pissed at the ppl there to want to be there anyways. We were walking along the road just pissily ranting about waht a bitch that psycho mother is and I'll be ranting ever since.

isabellacantinos@hotmail.com — Fri, 29 Apr 2005 07:47:53 GMT

My face
A good place?
To see in the mirror
Looking into my own eyes makes my mind clearer
Eyes-an unseen hole
A pathway straight to the soul
Or are they?
What do mine say?
I’m kind? I’m true?
I’m helpful? I know what to do?
Or I’m fake, conceited, unkind?
That I’m silly, stupid and blind
Am I these things? That I wont tell
Are my eyes captivating?
Do you find your own soul relating
To the sadness you think you see
Do my eyes even show the real me?

Should I conform to my stereotype?
Or do I treat it all like tripe?
Which one is more trouble, which one is more shame
Which one is less bound to cause me pain?
Why should it matter? Having my face?
It shouldn’t yet I feel out-of-place
Some curious glances, some flat-out stares
From girls I usually get all these glares
I never treated myself above any other
But they assume I do, I’m just smothered
And I’m instantly hatred or good graces
Cause I have one of the “more attractive” faces
Can it be true that I really like art?
I have many talents? I’m actually smart?

It’s a blessing to have such a face
To a stranger I could be any race
That’s great to look like me in slums
Rather not me favored by racist Mexican bums
Racism comes in all forms and colors
You think it’s the whites? Look at the others
I get free things, discounts and such
What seems like a little amounts to much
And why? Because I’m a pretty little Asian
You think they’d be giving that stuff to Caucasians?
Cambodian man gives me free Pocky, Vietnamese woman gives me ice cream
Can you not say this is racist, exclusive and mean?
A woman I just met gives me free jewels
I couldn’t take them, I’d feel like a fool

My relatives rarely called me “cutie”
But they more or less fawned over my beauty
Even when I was pale and sad
I thought I was ugly, they thought I was mad
My brain never fit my face though
Even as my face began to grow
I was still silly as ever
A silliness I now cherish forever
So I never became the girl my face was meant to be
But I’m glad of who I am, I like me

Can I deny fate
What once was cannot re-create
My face is a face for someone less
This combination is for someone over-blessed
Brains and Beauty are not meant to be
Yet both appear to have become me
Can I give some beauty? Some brains?
I wont ask a reward for my pains
I just don’t deserve this all in one
If you think about it, Does anyone?
Why are other’s lives so poor
Yet I am blessed with so much more?

Bet you think its easy with boys
That they come and go, but all are toys
That my face attracts them, makes them surround me like bees on honey
And I probably get a lot of money
Could you guess I try to give all I got
But they reel and don’t seem to like me a lot?
The rest are a dim grey in a background
And I don’t wish to be circled around
Just recently only few found me appealing
But its not like last year; I had them all reeling

isabellacantinos@hotmail.com — Fri, 29 Apr 2005 06:39:15 GMT

hey, betcha didn't know that along w/ writing I'm also an artist! I made a mask in art recently check it out:

the teacher actually REALLY liked it and compared it to some thing in this museum she saw, she said I was doing the exact same thing the artist in the museum did...hehe, yeah I'm just that great!(yeah right!) but I'm really happy cause everyone before was saying my idea sounded a little impossible but I was so bent on doing it it worked out perfectly and now its wonderful!

isabellacantinos@hotmail.com — Thu, 28 Apr 2005 04:13:02 GMT

I wrote this really cool little thingy -- its not Gerry-related but its vamp-related so its acceptable. Its really cool and different, I think I might branch off into a story or something from it

The art of blood:exquisite yet cursing. I am a professional in finding the best prey. Blood is my art, my life. I love it, yet loathe it. My dependency on it disgusts me, but I have learned to take advantage of it and turn it into art.

The good people who are happy and have done good things have the best blood. They bring the best feelings; but killing those people leaves you with their good consience and wears on you, makes you want to make up for it by draining someone cruel and selfish. So then you become selfish in turn and want to feed off the good people again and so the cycle continues.

The victims leave me their thoughts, their memories, their feelings, their soul. But only temporarily, they always leave a memory though. In a way they will now never be forgotten; their memories are immortalized in me.

I feel them coursing through me, taking over my emptiness, filling it with their essence. I am my victim. Humans have the saying "you are what you eat" They don't know the true meaning of it: they only know a quarter: organ donors, they feel somewhat what I feel, but not nearly as much.*

We get a different balance of emotions than them. We depend on their feelings to feel, without them we would cease to exist; because our existence would be meaningless: no boredom, no happiness, no motivation, no hope.

So when when feel a drain in emotion we become frantic for blood to keep our semblance of living. Sometimes after I feed on a more observant and thoughtful person I becom fascinated with humans. I wonder what its like to feel and have my feelings change over nothing. I wonder how it is possible their emotions can go flying over merely a sentence.

Feeding is like a high that changes drastically everytime. A much different high than what humans' memories show. I feel completely different - still me but a different person, if that makes any sense. Its as if I have a different soul. Everything is seen...sensed differently, there are no words to explain it.

There is much exhiliration in the hunts: anticipating the next feed and what feelings it'll bring. Picking out and predicting the taste of the victim.Drawing them in. Testing their blood, then finally feeding - I feel their fear coursing through me as I kill them. Then sitting and absorbing their essence: who they really were, who I have now become because of them. And finally, even though I feel what they feel, I feel satisfaction for doing the job right - for so would they if it wasn't them lying dead.

*There are people who get donated organs that begin to in a way become like their donors were, its a true fact

isabellacantinos@hotmail.com — Tue, 26 Apr 2005 03:27:40 GMT

I had an....interesting day today

In 1st was HUMILIATING (grrrrr..) I'm ex-friends w/ this BITCH who, though she is a TOTAL dork, she has more ppl to hang out w/ in 1st. We're BOTH friends w/ this one guy, but he likes me more cause....well(he has a thing for me). Today the seats were all changed and the teacher temporarily let us sit in whichever seats we wanted. I thought I could sit with that giys and his friends but his friends all branched off onto different tables becase that guy wasnt there. When he got there the BITCH asked him to sit w/ her, I know damn fuckin well what she was thinkin when she asked him - she doesnt even LIKE him! So because shes a conniving whore I had to sit alone, luckily only for a little while, but this is war bitch(before I just pitied her and her stupidity and sadness, but didnt hate her!)
In 3rd(this was block day: 1st, 3rd, and 5th) I sat w/ this guy who's a total pothead and recently broke up w/ his trashy girlfriend. I start talking to him and he fuckin SPILLS HIS GUTS OUT to me! He shows me a letter she gave him, how he feels about her, all of this REALLY personal shit! Turns out this chick he likes is a bitch whos just got him wrapped around her finger while he's falling head-over-heels in love; shes playing another guy while shes sending him "I miss you" notes! I couldnt tell him that, it was too sad, he's actually such a sweet guy that just fell for the wrong girl. Now I have someone else's problems bothering me all over again, how does this always happen?!

isabellacantinos@hotmail.com — Mon, 25 Apr 2005 06:06:19 GMT

oh. my. fucking. god.

They're selling his masks

Don juan

Red Death

and THE MASK

why don't they go ahead and sell Gerry's BULGE while they're at it?! yeah! why dont they?!

isabellacantinos@hotmail.com — Sun, 24 Apr 2005 19:12:56 GMT

Conversation with Gerry himself:

Me: Gerry! OH MY GOD! you are my one and only hottie!
Gerry: *nervous laughter* woold ya lak mey ta san anaything?
Me: nooo.... actually I would like something a bit more memorable...
Gerry: *looking at me suspiciously* end thet is...
Me: *getting all modest* well, uhm..see there's kinda a backstory to this TOO but of course I also really wanna do it: when you did Tomb Raider(I never actually saw it btw) my friends thought the pic of you..snogging angelina Jolie looked exactly like me and I wanna prove them wrong...or just make a fun comparison
Gerry: Ya want mey ta snog ya?
Me: Who wouldn't?! you up for it?
Gerry: *getting uncomfortable* wull theen who's gonna tak tha picture?
Me: *frantically grabs a fangirl next to me and whispers in her ear*: If you take a picture of this, I get to snog Gerry.
Fangirl: *look of jealousy/admiration* Wheres the camera?
Me: here, now make sure you get ALOT of pictures!....OK gerry! ready?
Gerry: *seeing the crowd is anticipating this so he cant back down* sure

The end!

isabellacantinos@hotmail.com — Sun, 24 Apr 2005 04:40:18 GMT

BEST. IDEA. EVER.
Gerry as the next Indiana Jones
NO STEALING IT!

isabellacantinos@hotmail.com — Sat, 23 Apr 2005 23:39:59 GMT

got bored and made a conversation between me and Gerik:

setting: I appear in Gerik's batcave wearing christines magical disappearo-stockings outfit(cause I love that outfit so there)

Gerik: HEY! What in God's name are you doing in my lair?!
me: I dunno really, it just works with my little thingy...
Gerik: *has no idea what the hell I'm talking about*
me: man, this thing is TIGHT!*wheezing*
Gerik: maybe you should wear something else...
Me: ha!! you totally wanna do me dont ya? yes! score one for me! AWESOME!*goes onto singing 'the phantom wants to do me, the phantom wants to do me..'*
Gerik: uhhmmm...what exactly do you think I want to do to you? I dont lasso ladies. your grammar is absurd!
Me: oh...well I meant you wanna screw me! I geuss since your from like...another time setting or whatever you dont get what I 'm saying...
Gerik: Screw? What would you have to do with any screws?
me: AHHH! I meant...*realising the only way to say would have to be painfully blunt and he would recoil in disgust* nevermind, forget this whole conversation... I'm just a perv.
Gerik: "perv"... is this a word I dont know of? where did you come from? are you a ballet girl? whats your name?
Me: I....come from America, I'm a phangirl, and my name is Isabella.
Gerik: a fangirl?
Me: no! a Phangirl!
Gerik: What you said, a fangirl!
Me: ....oh....yeah..I geuss so...
Gerik: what's a fangirl?
Me: oh!! you should know Ger- er - Eri - Mr. OG, you've got a whole sort of um.... 'society' that just is dedicated to you! They love you! and some...oh well you wouldnt want to know about that one
Gerik: I demand you inform me of what you know at once! *takes out lasso threateningly*
Me: ok, well, there are alot of girls that are into something called "slash"....its just a sort of phantasy that you and raoul kinda...get it on
Gerik: what is "it" and what am I getting on?
Me: ummm.....you could say...each other *crouches sheepishly*
Gerik: *starting to realize what I meant and getting some imagery* Why?! why would they enjoy this?! its sacriledge! its absurd! Its disturbing!
Me: Well, you could say that people are kinda really screwed up in America...
Gerik: well then are you...."screwed up"?
Me: well... I AM typing this whole thing about me and you talking so I geuss so...
Gerik: "typing" what? I'm completely baffled!
Me: oh, yeah, um, forget I said that!
Gerik: HEY! your stockings! they just disappeared! how did that happen?
Me: it comes with the outfit, but i was hoping you were the one to make them disappear....*blushes at my own idiocy*
Gerik: ....how would I -- ooooh!*blushes, but in a sexy way of course*
Me: *trying to seize the moment* well, I still am wearing alot of other clothes that probably need disappearing....
Gerik: Do you think I would stoop so low as to make love to someone that happened to stumble into my lair? I have dignity, mind you!
Me: ok then..... well this won't get much more fun*disappears*

the end(stay tuned for conversations with dracula, atilla, and Gerry himself!)

isabellacantinos@hotmail.com — Sat, 23 Apr 2005 22:40:05 GMT

ughhhhh..... 1st and last time I'm ever eating a triple patty burger at wendy's...*runs to the bathroom*

I just needed my fat fix(not saying I'm fat) for the week! I'm an innocent victim of the fastfood franchise!

so greasy, so fatty, soo good(but jack in the box is better)

stupid frial, asian body: can't handle fat and grease-laden food! you'll never survive with that weakness!

when I was eating the burger it dripped so much grease it looked like an alien from 'Aliens' all drooly and dribbly, I had to have a napkin under it - it went thru 2 napkins easily

just thinking about it is making me nauseous yet hungry
*groan*....my mouth tasted like fat people...yucky

isabellacantinos@hotmail.com — Thu, 21 Apr 2005 23:50:49 GMT

omg, I know no ones gonna read this, but I need to rant

Godammit, what the hell is up with all those people?! I mean, I'm posting something Gerry-related and they freak out cause its OFFENSIVE, and sure, thats fine w/ me, but when I get 80,000 fuckin emails about the same opinion being repeated then it gets really annoying.
anyways, does that community look like a debate class?! Can people just move on and go back to their gerry-obsessed lives?! I KNOW you guys are offended by now you dont need to repeat it in huge fuckin paragraphs, and there are lots of times I'm pissed at something someone said over LJ but since I see that 10 other people are making the exact same point that I feel, I decide not to bitch about it cause my point has been made thru other people
and THEN I even apologize, but they're still not happy cause they wanted to be able to bitch some more at me while I'm sitting here like "CAN WE GET BACK TO GERRY NOW?!" what the point of this whole argument anyways?! I'm posting my shit in another fucking journal, but they just cant be satisfied! Its one of those "so thats it? your sorry? well I still feel like arguing so no!"
And who wants to deal w/ LJ drama? I dont, thats why I had to delete 2 of my posts cause ppl just wanted to bitch and argue there. I understand you may have some unsaid feelings, but that doesnt mean you should say them! go to a ranting community and rant about it there, but I just want to fuckin MOVE ON, is this a crime? am I a bitch for sayng this?
and I'm not gonna stop posting or making these just because a few people dont like them, cause alot more do. I personally feel like what I've done is really pretty damn good, not to be conceited but I think I've really made the whole thing work pretty well, and I'm so glad others recognized it.
I think the reason I always get ppl here to hate me is cause I'm pretty charismatic in real life, but not in Virtual world; I use my body language to express shit and since LJ is all about the text, I cant show people when I'm angry or not. I usually say things in real life that if typed would sound bitchy but in person sound mature and blunt. like this guy was saying how hes a lot more talkative at his old school "so then you were an asshole?" I say innocently, and no one gets pissed cause they can tell by my demeanor I'm not trying to start anything, just having fun. but if I made a comment like that HERE then people would take it way wrong and be completely offended. also, when things are in text, anyone who reads it distorts it into their own interpretation, like I was talking about what I thought of this movie I saw in another community, and one person chose to disagree with my points while another took it as their que to say what they personally felt about it. some people see I'm typing about how annoying this and this is and decide that its a personal attack on them, while others believe its an invitation to debate about it.
I cant make everyone see the silent inferences in text because I have no body languge thru LJ, and alot of communication depends on body language so w/o it I'm lost. I'm just glad some people decide not to make assumptions of who I am thru their interpretations of the text I write, because after all, it is only text.
what I hate about LJ wars is that you cant argue about it in person, you have to wait a long time for the other's response and it always ends up dragging on way too long. thats why I try to end them as quickly as possible but some people dont understand my logic because its thinking too far into the future for them, like my exfriend for instance: we were having a huge problem but I didn't want to be enemies w/ her cause I have 2 classes w/ her and am friends w/ alot of her friends, but she didn't consider that and would bitch at me in the most enemy-causing way. now its really hard to avoid her and the whole issue could have been avoided 10x over if she thought things thru rationally and slowly. If she stopped to think about what she was doing and what would help make the situation an easier one to handle we would still have been friends(but I'm glad shes not my friend anymore cause she was a fuckin leech on me)
I think that even posting this would cause an outrage, though my points are well made and I'm only expressing my personal feelings. this fact is what really saddens me: that people see a post about how annoying it is when offended people start shit and then comment in that exact post saying "we're not trying to start anything, your being extremely unfair and rude...." which just proves my point even more. do they even have the dignity to prove me wrong by NOT complaining about me? thats what really gets me, that fact just makes me grit my teeth cause it makes me feel ashamed for them and wish I wasn't human becuase people can be so stupid, which means I'm destined to be stupid too.

isabellacantinos@hotmail.com — Thu, 21 Apr 2005 01:36:46 GMT

forget that little Napoleon Dynamite thing...

Erik: Ahh! the flying toasters are back!

(later on)

Erik: Christine, I hope you dont mind putting on that wedding dress-

Christine: DO I mind!!

Christine: of COURSE I dont mind!

Erik: Dammit..

Erik: you were SUPPOSED to refuse....

...so I would have to undress you myself!!you ruined it!

Christine: and then the undressing woud have to lead to hot anger-sex...dammit I'm so STUPID!

Christine: ok so then tell me to get back into the other outfit then...

Erik: I demand you get back into you previous outfit!

Christine: NO! you'll have to undress me yourself to get me to do it!

Erik: Hey, its Raoul! Just in time to FUCK things up too!

Christine: DAMMIT RAOUL! I told you not to do this!

Erik: waitwaitwait dear, I think I can take advantage of this situation...

Erik: I think I can find a way to please you both!

Christine:*still stuck in her drama pose*

Erik: Raoul, you wanna do Christine, right?

Raoul: ANYTHING! except that weirdo kinky whips and chains thing...does it include that?

Raoul: There's no whips or chains involved, right?

no, only LASSOS!

Erik: HAHA! Ya know how Christine said "you guys could do me BOTH" well she CAN, except YOU'RE the one that has to do all the kinky shit while I get to just do her! genuis!

Erik: What'da think Christine? If you dont like it the Slash-phangirls will!

Raoul: *looking constipated*

Erik: and you'll get to do BOTH OF US at the same time! just like you said at the graveyard!

Raoul: Hey, thats not exactly a bad idea...

Christine: Oh my god...you guys have completely lost it....

Erik: YOU SAID YOU WANTED TO DO US BOTH!

Christine: I sid you COULD BOTH DO ME, I meant at separate times! you think I'd want to reenact a slash-phangirl's ultimate phantasy?! I'm not THAT kinky!

Erik: sooo...I've completely wasted my time? Why dont you just do it, its the closest you'll ever get to your fantasies!

Raoul: Christine, just do it...please? I've already lowered my dignity enough!

Raoul: Christine, just freakin DO IT! were all here!

Erik: yeah christine, we're all here

Raoul: *checking out erik's crotch*

christine: would you guys both SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY?! there's a reason I won't do it...

Christine: cant you see it Erik?I only wanna do YOU!

Christine: I mean youre hot...

Christine: you're HUGE...

...And you know the Kama Sutra..

Christine: *snog*

Christine: damn, this is HOT!

Erik: Wait christine I need to-

*Big ass snog*

Erik: Christine, um, I just realized I'm totally gay...WHY NOW?!

Christine: you gotta be fuckin kidding me....you finally have your dreams come true and NOW you're gay?!

Erik: I KNOW! now instead of wanting to do you, I want Raoul! such bad timing!

Raoul: hey c'mon, dont drag ME into this!

Christine: so..can we still be friends-

Erik: OH GOD! this is soo embarrasing! you guys should go now! I'm too ashamed!

Christine:....uhmmmm, well I guess I should help you...

Christine: GET THE FUCK OFF ME! YOU STOLE MY MAN YOU BITCH!

Raoul:....so thats how Christine got hitched w/ me; she used my engagement ring with the phantom so she had to be married to me to save face...

Driver: thats wonderful sir but please sit down before you soil yourself again..

Raoul: too late for that, lets go before I cause a stink

Raoul: waiiit....

Raoul: so he was screwing her the whole time we were together....

Raoul: That plotting genius! and I was stuck doing all the freaky kinky stuff! The bitch

makes you wonder doesn't it?

THE END!

isabellacantinos@hotmail.com — Tue, 19 Apr 2005 22:23:23 GMT

ok, so I decided though I KNOW no one's gonna care4 that I'm gonna randomly write shit in my journal: like bitching about my life or my latest philosphy or poem or whatever..
ook...so today was fun! in 1st period(after the WASL) this guy named Nick(which I hate because he's so immature he makes me ashamed of being a sophomore) had an issue w/ me today. heres the story:

This chick behind him said he smelled like a girl and he accused her of spraying perfume on him, now earlier I'd noticed he was wearing Abercrombie, and its one thing for GIRLS to spend that much money on clothes but its quite another for guys.
So he's of course making a HUGE scene cause that's what he does with everything and I pipe in calmly "Nick, you smell like a chick cause you're wearing Abercrombie" about half the class had no idea what the hell I was talking about while the other half silently rooted me on(of course they really should'nt have been LISTENING but...). In the end, Nick made an ass out of himself as usual.

I dont get how THOSE guys are the popular ones! I mean they're so ANNOYING! I think its cause the people who like them are just as immature...well, I'm just glad I'm not one of them! Well it seems like in the Junior years the Potheads are the popular ones, or is just because by then everyone's a pothead? hmmmm...gotta sleep on that one

And I'm also glad lots of people like me AND I dont have to act like a DITZ for that to happen! I think everyone likes me cause I GENUINELY dont care what people think but I'm not a total bitch or anything, only to people I hate(AKA:people who've backstabbed me/done something wrong to me). so this exasperating situation was really nothing to bitch about, just something to talk about.